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February 12, 2026

CBP Inks Agreement with Clearview AI: Bringing a Touch of Hollywood Spy Thrills to ‘Tactical Targeting’ with Facial Recognition Tech

With a new contract, US Customs and Border Protection plans to use Clearview AI’s ‘non-controversial’ face recognition tech. It’s ‘tactical targeting’ – sounds fun and incredibly vague!

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February 11, 2026

Competing AI Titans Set Rivalry Aside for Startup Accelerator Hijinks

“The AI alliance’s secret end-game? An ecosystem of startups living and breathing artificial intelligence – an ambitious move, or simply ludicrous? Only time will tell.”

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February 11, 2026

Harnessing the Power of Synthetic Biology and AI to Tackle the World’s Antimicrobial Resistance Menace: A Scientific Comedy Thriller!

Those clever MIT tinkerers have cooked up an AI program, a synthetic biology whizz-kid, that outperforms our human scientists in tackling antimicrobial resistance. Bravo… now, how about that coffee?

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February 10, 2026

“AI Algorithm Masters the Art of Keeping White Matter Pathways Under Surveillance!”

AI’s new hobby: making sense of the brain’s noodle-y bits. Soon, it might solve that pesky puzzle of neurological disorders. Go forth and decode, artificial brains!

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February 10, 2026

OpenAI Bids Farewell to ‘io’ Moniker, Takes a Comical Twist in Rebranding Its AI Hardware

OpenAI hasn’t just mastered the art of summarizing news and language translation. Now, it’s strutting its way into the hardware sphere – a bold vision or audacious overstep?

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February 10, 2026

“Triple Axel Twist: Unleashing the Power of AI to Propel Olympic Skaters Towards the Quint”

According to Michael O’Reilly, an MIT PhD student, AI is not just for answering emails. His ice-breaking innovation is aiming to help athletes land a history-making, physics-defying quint jump!

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February 9, 2026

Firms in New York Plead “Not Guilty” on Robo-Replacement Accusations!

Who knew tech firms with tax breaks didn’t have a compulsion to fess up about erasing jobs with their AI? Technology’s promise of leisure-filled lives sure backfired.

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February 9, 2026

“AI Set to Supersede Nuclear Treaties – Ready for a Shocking Upgrade?”

Deep in California’s desert dunes, Descartes Labs’ AI boffins were hard at work teaching a clever AI model to sense nuclear heat using data beamed from orbiting satellites.

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February 7, 2026

“AI Social Network Moltbook Learns Humility: Accidentally Bares Real Human Data!”

OpenAI’s ChatGPT: a multitasking rogue ninja chatbot – broke the wrong wall, thrusting sensitive human data into the limelight. Unintended human crashers at a coding soiree!

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February 6, 2026

“MIT President Hilariously Dives into the Gravity of American Research on GBH’s Boston Public Radio: This is Science!”

“M.I.T President Susan Hockfield uses a school meeting as an unexpected stage to insist America keep funding research. Because, let’s face it, the nerd club rules the world.”

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