DAI#44 – Twists and Turns, Conversational Pachyderms, and the Artifical Intelligence Overlord
“DAI#44 – U-turns, talking elephants, and AI Big Brother”
“In a laboratory somewhere, researchers have developed a literal ‘big brother’, a massive artificial intelligence (AI) system that constantly monitors all online communication and activity. The AI system has the ability to predict almost immediately when a user is going to make a misstep, such as posting something offensive or insensitive online, and intervenes in the nick of time, alpha-numeric hand grasping the errant digital foot, preventing the user from putting it in their digital mouth.”
Ah, yes—isn’t our world fun? You’d think with all our technological advancements, we would focus on curing diseases or maybe even world peace. But no, here we are creating a ‘Big Brother’ AI to tell us our jokes aren’t funny. Glorious days, right?
So let’s unravel this a bit. Some lab-coat-wearing geniuses have birthed an AI system that can cyber-stalk us more efficiently than any jilted ex. It intervenes the second it predicts an online misstep, like an overbearing helicopter mom whose existence revolves around saving their 35-year-old kid from a life of bad Tinder anecdotes.
Let’s make one thing clear—it’s not like it’s predicting earthquakes or lottery numbers. The AI system just has the ability to predict when a user is about to make a faux pas, like the world’s squarest friend at a party, and intervene in lightning speed to save the face of the user. Makes you miss the good old days where you could embarrass yourself online without a machine censoring you, doesn’t it?
On the other side of the spectrum, we also have researchers developing another AI, a sort of ‘elephant whisperer’, which translates vocalizations of elephants. As you could imagine, Dumbo never expected to have his privacy intruded on by our need to eavesdrop on the daily humdrum of elephantine conversations.
The big question now is, what will we see next? An AI that predicts when your toaster is feeling ‘burnt out’? Or perhaps one that translates the angry buzzing of bees as they express their concern over the human-induced apocalypse of their colonies?
While we wait in anticipation, one thing is abundantly clear—neither Orwell nor Disney had quite anticipated this version of the future. The age of AI has run wild, bringing us talking elephants and an ultra-observant ‘Big Brother’ underlining our need for constant digital supervision. But hey, why bother fixing our own actions when we can use AI to do it for us, right? Such is human innovation—continually stunning, sometimes ridiculous, never dull.
Buckle up, folks. The future promises to be quite a ride.