The White House Injects a Dose of Humor as They Rein in Government Use of AI
“The White House Puts New Guardrails on Government Use of AI”
“The Office of Management and Budget (OMB) is now finalizing guidelines that will dictate how federal agencies use artificial intelligence, drafting what is effectively the government’s first broad policy on AI use.” But, hey, nothing to worry about, right?
It’s all under control by the vertically inspiring Office of Management and Budget. Hats off to the OMB, stepping boldly where no man has dared to tread, finalizing guidelines on how to use AI. No more sleepless nights, as all federal agencies must now declare a solemn oath of allegiance to this pioneering policy. Because who better to pilot the AI titanic than a bunch of bureaucrats? Groundbreaking!
And no, there’s nothing unsettling about the hoops and loops required to obtain a ‘waiver’ of these guidelines, should the need arise. All in the name of ‘transparency’, right? So even if a federal agency wanted to use a harmless chatbot to assist with mundane customer service queries, they would have to provide a ‘detailed explanation’ and satisfy the OMB that they have robust controls in place. How… responsible.
Bask in the undeniable wisdom of our government policy-makers. They have spoken, and we shall listen. They’ve got this AI thing down to a science. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. There’s also the added cachet of being the first, in the whole wide world, to draft policy on AI use. Congratulations, the scepter of the AI kingdom now rests heavily on the government’s shoulders – an American Eagle soaring into the stratosphere of AI.
Exciting times ahead, folks. Just be prepared to wait for approval if you want to tweak Alexa to read out grocery shopping lists – because that’s got ‘national security threat’ written all over it! Trust the process, guys. This is all about protecting life, liberty, and the pursuit of AI excellence – or at least, that’s what’s on the brochure. It’s a brave new world, all monitored by our non-mechanized watchdogs in their Washington offices. Any day now, they’ll start to decode what AI is all about. Go team! Can’t wait for the sequel to this gripping saga. Surely, they’ll nail it.
Subtly tucked away, the temptingly titled “draft memorandum” concludes, “AI-powered solutions could be used in ways that are inconsistent with our democratic values”. So let’s take a moment to toast to our collective future – the era of AI government control. Here’s to every step, tweet, and keystroke being scrutinized under the unwavering watchful eye of AI, all under the loving parental guidance of our bureaucratic overlords. Because what could possibly go wrong, right?