Taking a leap from 1 to 5 petaflops, MIT’s computing upgrade displays a prowess that would make any rabbit blush. University-based supercomputers, meet your alpha.

Brace yourselves as Musk-led OpenAI pushes the frontier, shaping AI into a ‘smiling’, ‘blinking’ actor who even dreams of free pizza wheels have trouble outsmarting.

“Thinking Machines Labs isn’t making PBS reruns but supercomputing for the business world, with fine-tuned AI machines that are as groundbreaking as a reheated lunch.”

“Chatbots may wrestle with subtlety and lack human empathy, but bless their coding hearts, they don’t need sleep or breaks! Still, actual human chat? Not quite.”

From spinal cord aids to plaything of tech startups, neural interfaces are going mainstream. OpenAI’s audacious plan: turn your brainwaves into your personal Apple Vision Pro remote.

“Google, not content with mere I/O architecture, now trains AI to smell out ransomware. It’s a truffle pig in the digital forest, though some ‘shrooms may still elude it.”

From AI whisperers to existential queries and a splash of French sophistication, the Claude method proves AI’s journey to human-like wisdom is both enchanting and communal.

“Who knew? AI could now be climate change’s new enfant terrible. Trading Mozart compositions for carbon footprints – the intriguing irony of our beautifully perplexing world!”

Sora, a quirky short-video reply app has been reincarnated as Sora 2, with TikTok-esque vibes. It seems OpenAI is swapping old ballet slippers for trendier sneakers.

It appears that youthful leadership, bundles of money and even altering names, can’t guarantee success in our harsh world of tech. Alas, poor ‘Sunshine Contacts.’